Erodude's Blog

Anime Relations: I☆Can

Once upon a time, in a far off land, lived a prince and a princess, blissfully in love. That they should be wed was a foregone conclusion; they had been lovers since they first met. They spent their days lazily, slowly and softly discovering new things to love about each other. Their own happily-ever-after drifted inexorably toward them.

But one day, a fearsome dragon attacked the castle while the princess slept. It flew away, carrying the princess in its fearsome claws. The prince awoke to the commotion, dashing outside only in time to see the princess carried off by the beast.

The prince tracked it for a fortnight, riding alone on his swiftest horse, only to find the beast in the ruins of a citadel, which it had claimed as its lair. It was surrounded by a moat, with a single drawbridge leading to a large, closed wooden door. Surely, behind it lay the dragon. The prince was no match for the dragon; he knew he would be just an afternoon snack. So, he decided to find some other way to rescue his love. As he wandered around the outer walls, he happened to glance up to the top of a tower. Lo and behold! There, in the window, stood his princess! But something was amiss. She looked pained, without the strength to stand happily and steadfastly as she had before.

He called to her, and she glanced down. Her face lit up; her eyes shone with happiness, but her expression did not change. She grimaced, looking down at him, and feebly called out his name. The prince, hearing the voice of the girl he longed for, rejoiced. He called to her, comforting her, saying, “Worry not; I am here; I will always be here for you!” And the princess finally smiled. The prince then asked of her, “Though you smile, my love, you are hurt. What, pray tell, has happened?” The smile vanished from her face, and she began to tremble. Feeling her fear, he appended, “All is well, you have no need to answer. I am here for you. Worry not.”

The prince surveyed the citadel, day and night, for one week, searching for a way that would lead him to his princess and askew from the dragon. Each night, he came to her window to reassure her.

“I am here for you. Worry not.”

But each night, the prince would curse silently to himself and pray to the heavens for her deliverance. He could do nothing more. The walls of the citadel stood completely intact, forming an impenetrable barrier. He dove into the moat and searched for an underwater passageway, but to no avail. He thought to climb the tower to reach her, but he knew that he would not be able to carry her down safely. And if there was no way to enter without climbing, then there would be no way to exit without climbing; so, while he could scale the walls to enter, they would be forced to confront the dragon as they left. He considered beseeching both of their fathers to commit their soldiers to the cause, but the undertaking would require weeks, if not months, to come to fruition. Even then, the dragon would quickly become privy to the plot, and would seek to defend itself and its claim to the princess. If he acted foolishly and hastily on any of these poor plans, he might put his love in more danger than were he to do nothing.

The prince began to notice something. Every day, the princess would disappear at noon, returning only as twilight grew near. Each time she returned, she looked more haggard than before. And each time he called out to her, she would respond less vigorously. Upon her return on the twilight of the eighth day, the prince realized that whatever the dragon was doing, it was killing the princess. Should he continue to do nothing, his love would vanish from this world. The prince had nothing left to lose.

Steeling his resolve, he approached the drawbridge. With a determined look and eyes full of anger, he threw all his might against the wooden door. It began to swing open.

He stood face to face with the dragon. He knew this would happen. He knew this would be the result of his actions. One man against a dragon? Absurd. But he wanted to do it. He needed to do it. He would do it. His love was all he had, all he cared about, and for her, he would fight even the devil’s armies. As he drew his sword, the dragon bared its fangs. But as he brandished his sword as a challenge, the dragon started to chuckle.

“Well, well,” it snarled, “what do we have here? A foolish human challenging me, the most fearsome beast of all? Wonders will never cease!” The prince shook in shock and fear, but his gaze remained strong.
“Release the princess you hold captive!”
“Oho? And why should I do that?”
“Because I will free her! For her I cannot lose! For even should it cost me my life, I shall at least take you to your grave, and you can do no harm from there!” His eyes shone, and he stood as firm as bedrock. His body surged with a dissonant confidence; he knew he could not win, and yet he knew that he would.

“Oho!” the dragon chuckled, raising its head condescendingly. “You are quite the man, aren’t you? I shall make you a deal.”
The prince was surprised, but he did not falter. He maintained his gaze.
“And what, pray tell, is that?”
“Your Highness, come hither!”

With the dragon’s vitriolic call, a shape emerged at the top of a spiral staircase. The princess descended through the stairs, and as she stepped off onto the ground, her eyes met those of the prince. Her expression did not change, and the prince saw nothing but weariness in her eyes.

“Ah, so good of you to join us! Come here, girl.” The princess walked toward the dragon without energy. As she approached the beast, her foot brushed against something. The cracked skull of a soldier long dead lay there. The skeleton wore the rusted remnants of a suit of armor that long ago had been the pride of a nobleman. Its grand origin lost in the sands of time, it lay there in the ruins, forgotten, just like all the other rubbish. The princess stumbled, shifting the armor a bit, and a glint of steel caught the prince’s eye.

“That man,” the dragon roared, “once wielded a sword immune to the passage of time. Quite the marvel. He was renowned as a knight, one whose blade would never break or dull, always sharp enough to cut through armor…and the flesh beneath. I wonder if he misses it in the afterlife, as it will never join him there. Take the sword, princess!”

As the princess bent down and retrieved the sword, the prince stood without breaking gaze. He suppressed his joy at seeing his love. He suppressed his eagerness to rush forward and end the confrontation. But most of all he suppressed his bafflement over the dragon’s game.
“What are you playing at, dragon?”
“Walk between us, princess.”
“What are you-”
“Ah, there. Everything is prepared. Here is the deal: your princess is free; she shall do as she pleases.”
“That is not a deal. What trickery is this?”
“No tricks. No games. This is my deal. Take it, or lose everything!”
The prince’s mouth curled into a grimace, and then his face twisted into a cold fury. His eyes, though, showed fear.
“Well?” the dragon roared. The prince’s face held its anger, then relaxed, then returned to a confident, unwavering gaze.
“Very well.”
“Then it is settled.” With that, the dragon withdrew its head and backed away calmly. It settled down at the edge of the ruins, far enough away that it could not catch the two should they run. It watched, with a strange look on its face.
“Let us go, princess, before the scaly fiend changes its mind!” The prince rushed toward the princess, joy and longing overwhelming his suspicion of the circumstances.

A sharp pain burst forth from the prince’s chest. His love stood facing him, her expression cold, her arms outstretched, hands gripping her ageless blade, which extended into and through the prince. As his blood began to trickle down the shining steel, the prince could only stare, a look of puzzlement and growing sadness on his face as his love began to speak.
“Your empty words of comfort, I hated them. Had you any love for me, you would have given me more than words; and yet you did nothing! You do not care about me at all.” The dragon’s lips curled into what must have been a smirk.

“She shall do as she pleases, foolish human.” The words blended into the darkness that the prince’s last moments became. “No tricks…no lies……accept it………and…………”

Then nothing.















The princess withdrew her sword from the prince’s body and turned to face the dragon as it spoke.

“Human hearts are fickle, are they not, your Highness?” the beast said derisively.
“Yes,” the princess agreed, “the heart of a dragon is much better.”

And she smiled.


☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ END ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆


That dragon is a magnificent bastard. He also talks too much. But when a dragon talks, you had better fucking listen.

If the ending feels like an ass-pull, then you haven't seen I☆Can. If you think the writing is terrible, then you haven't seen I☆Can.