It's absolutely bizarre to me that this manga has gotten little to no attention since its publication in English, because it is an absolute treat.

Sexuality and gender are more fluid than most people would like to admit. Of course, for the vast majority of people—gay or straight, trans or cis, or anywhere in between—those things will not be fluid. Once people realize who they are, it generally stays that way. However, that absolutely does not apply to everybody, and in fact, the opposite is much more common than people often think.

Deborah is my Rival is the story of a fussy okama falling for a sweet shoujo heroine, calling into question societal expectations and their own emotions. For those unaware, "okama" is traditionally a derogatory word aimed towards feminine gay men and transgender women, although it is also often used in a reclaimed way.

Deborah is an okama in every sense of the word. Flamboyant, extravagant, and hopelessly chasing after cute boys. As far as he is aware (and yes, I will be using he/him pronouns, because that is what the translation I read used, and he shows much more attachment to his male identity than another okama in the series, who is gendered exclusively with she/her), he is exclusively attracted to men, much like a woman is—a "woman on the inside," one could say. And then Asayo enters the picture and turns everything upside-down.

He likes her, but he's never liked a woman before (then again, he *is* quite young. Do most people have themselves figured out at age 19?). He feels as though he likes her the way a man does a woman, but he still feels partially like a woman himself due to his remaining attraction to men. So what does this all mean?

Well, first of all, it stands to be said that obviously gender does not equate to sexuality. Liking men does not automatically make you a woman and vice versa. The manga knows this, however, as it also clearly shows gay men who are simply just men. Just because sexuality and gender do not equate, however, that does not mean that they can't influence how one experiences them. If someone's personal experience is that their sexuality informs their gender identity, that is perfectly reasonable as their own personal experience.

Some people might find this manga homophobic, as a blatantly gay man turns out to actually like a woman, thus making him feel more like "a man," but I don't think that at all. Because despite his love for Asayo, he remains attracted to men and attached to the womanly side of his identity. He does not change, even if he discovers new things about himself. And, as I've said so many times, sexuality can be fluid for a lot of people. One may discover their preferences have changed, including developing a previously absent attraction to the opposite sex.

And no matter what, even if you think it didn't age well, the manga's representation of queer characters aged remarkably for a manga published 30 years ago as of when I write this. Something I actually appreciate is that, even in 1996, Asayo was actually accepting of the prospect Deborah is really a woman who could never like her back, and she would have been content with that if it had been true. The thing about the queer community is that only in the last 15 years has it become so streamlined into neat little boxes, when before that it was always messy and complicated, and I don't see why we should expect it to be neat and particular. I think this manga does a great job showcasing the messy fluidity of the queer experience in a very empathetic and kind way, considering it's a heterosexual romance manga from the 90s.

As for the actual plot, it's just a quirky, funny, cute queer romp featuring compelling drama and charming characters. Deborah is wildly entertaining with his pretentious and dickish attitude developing into a softer side for the sweet-as-pie Asayo, with them having a bit of a back-and-forth dynamic that's very funny in between their moments of genuine romance. Unfortunately there isn't nearly as much to say there as there is about the queer themes.

Fantastic 90s shoujo that isn't long at all. It may have taken years to get licensed in English, but now that it finally has, I highly recommend you pick it up.

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